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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28692849">orbiting against the gravitational current</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/halokebi/pseuds/halokebi'>halokebi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven GO</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Divergence, Growing Up Together, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Midorikawa centric, The Aliea Incident</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:42:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28692849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/halokebi/pseuds/halokebi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Midorikawa Ryuuji never really felt like he belonged anywhere. The stars in the night sky always felt more closer than the ground under his feet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kiyama Tatsuya | Kiyama Hiroto | Gran/Midorikawa Ryuuji | Reize</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>orbiting against the gravitational current</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! So, before we start this I'd like to point out a few things: as said, this is HEAVILY centered around Midorikawa and his perspective before, during and after the Aliea Incident. It also has the spice of him falling in love through the process. This fic means a lot to me and I won't lie, I cried while writing this (but you didn't hear that from me). It's full of angst, and it's just Midorikawa growing up and trying to find his place in the world. I love him, and everyone from Aliea so much. EXCEPT for Kira Seijirou, I have no sympathy for that man. Okay, that's all from me now, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a saying about killing two birds with one stone. Midorikawa Ryuuji had a complete grasp of it’s meaning when his mother decided to give him away in favor of a rich man. Turns out the gain of materialistic paper currency with a dash of temporary love and the loss of burdened responsibility given by a dead man’s child was indeed killing two birds with one stone.</p><p> </p><p>After that, Ryuuji became a little more intrigued with the way meaningless words come to life in the most dire ways. </p><p> </p><p>Everything became more of something to understand than feel. He walks into an unfamiliar house as he watches the door close behind him. He doesn’t quite realize that he lost everything he once knew the moment he stepped in here because now he’s looking forward, looking at a taller girl with greenish-black hair as he tries to pace his steps matching hers. </p><p> </p><p>In a few seconds of what seemed like hours he’s in a small room. The light of the room hits his eyes like sunbeams even though it’s late afternoon. He spots many different people — different but maybe just like him. </p><p> </p><p>He looks at the girl first than the rest of the eyes staring back at him. She smiles softly and Ryuuji almost believes in it before she lightly pushes him. </p><p> </p><p>He keeps his eyes on the ground and doesn’t hear her introduce his name to the crowd. He doesn’t even know <em> her </em> name. She leaves, and Ryuuji hears her footsteps as she does. It’s only then when the situation he’s currently in truly sets in. He has no idea what he should say now that they all know his name. What else did they want to know? Did they <em> have </em> to know anything else? </p><p> </p><p>He picks out words carefully in the span of a few moments. The room is lying in wait for him to speak, or move, or <em> anything </em>. He goes for the safe choice and looks up. </p><p> </p><p>The first thing he’s met with is teal eyes rivalling red hair. There’s this funny feeling in Ryuuji’s body when this happens. Something someone would call warm, and fuzzy. Something he isn’t sure if it’s the heat getting to him or what he would call comfort. He loses all words he had mustered up at the tip of his tongue. </p><p> </p><p>In the next weeks or so — Ryuuji wasn’t really counting after realizing that he’ll be here for a long time — he learns a few things from a few people. These things which are: <em> to always greet </em> ‘father’ <em> when he comes over to visit </em> (from a young girl, Yagami Reina), <em> be early to lunch time because the first kids get the best food </em> (from a tall kid, Saginuma Osamu), <em> don’t listen to Haruya he’s stupid </em> (from Suzuno Fuusuke), and finally the memo of <em>that</em> <em> Tatsuya kid is kinda weird so stay away from him because I do </em>(from the infamous Nagumo Haruya). </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji takes most of that to heart, but listens to Fuusuke wholeheartedly because he seemed like he had some amount of brain cells compared to the rest of them and because yeah, he <em> isn’t </em> going to listen to Haruya and he <em> will </em> walk up to Tatsuya and ask him why he’s sitting alone during play time instead of playing with the rest. </p><p> </p><p>He does the action a few days after deciding it in his mind because Ryuuji was sort of a coward that way. Tatsuya doesn’t look up to acknowledge the new presence in front of him and it makes the younger wonder how bad it’s been going for him. </p><p> </p><p>The boy had his shoulders tensed and slouched. Ryuuji found this as a usual thing the latter did (after <em> not </em> watching him for the past few days). He wondered if he realized how smaller it made him look. Did he want to look this way? Hide away from a place he had to learn to live in? Ryuuji wonders, and wonders a little bit more of Kiyama Tatsuya — the boy with teal eyes rivalling the act of wanting to hide away from the world.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” Ryuuji lets out almost in a choke, almost lost in the space between them. Almost. “I’m Midorikawa Ryuuji.” </p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya looks up, and meets Ryuuji’s curious look. He suddenly feels a little less nervous than before. The redhead speaks again, “Tatsuya. Kiyama Tatsuya.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” He says like he was proud of it and it was a badge of honor he wears everyday. “I was wondering if you want to hang out?”</p><p> </p><p>“Together?” Tatsuya questions just a beat later. It sounds excited, with a mix of desperation but Ryuuji doesn’t catch that last part. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah!” He honestly was just glad that the two were speaking at the moment, “We can do whatever you wanna do.” </p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya pauses, then locks his gaze on something happening behind Ryuuji. It takes a second before he realizes what’s going on and follows his gaze to see a bunch of the other kids kicking a ball.</p><p> </p><p>“You wanna play with them?” Ryuuji doesn’t look away and watches as Haruya not-so-accidentally kicks the ball straight into Fuusuke’s body. The boy tumbles down. Ryuuji suppresses a laugh. </p><p> </p><p>“No.” Tatsuya shakes his head. Ryuuji looks back at him to see that he’s already staring back. “I wanna play with you.” </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji has no idea how to play whatever that is, but maybe trying isn’t a bad idea. </p><p> </p><p>That same day Ryuuji finds his legs unable to move, but in a good way, because he drops onto the grass and turns up to look at the night sky. It’s pretty from this view, up there and hard to reach but the lights lace through his fingers like he can keep it in his hand. </p><p> </p><p>He feels someone drop next to him. It’s Tatsuya who has his eyes closed. Ryuuji has half the mind to tell him that the sky looks too pretty to keep his eyes closed. </p><p> </p><p>When he thinks about it — and Ryuuji finds himself thinking a lot lately — Tatsuya seemed more relaxed than the first time he saw him. His shoulders were rested against the grass like it was a bed. His eyes were closed shut but not the point where it felt forced, but perhaps it was because he felt no need to force them open. His breathing was paced into soft rhythms that Ryuuji found himself trying to match in unison. </p><p> </p><p>Today was fun. He learned something new and exciting. Probably the most interesting thing that he’s done since he moved into this orphanage, or if he was feeling a little bit brave, the most interesting thing that he’s done in his entire life. </p><p> </p><p>He smiles to himself, then at the sky, then at the thought of Tatsuya who was beside him, then he finds himself smiling about Tatsuya. <em> What’s going to happen tomorrow? </em>He thinks, looking at the sky as if it’ll be the one to answer his unspoken question. </p><p> </p><p>Not a second later there’s someone else who drops beside him and it almost makes Ryuuji jump in surprise. Tatsuya remains unfazed as usual. </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji turns to his side the same time Haruya reaches out to poke him in the forehead.</p><p> </p><p>“Ow.” Ryuuji lets out. Haruya merely grins and turns to the sky. They don’t realize other people are lying down with them. The green haired decides not to count anymore. It’s too much work, so he decides to count the stars above him. </p><p> </p><p><em> Fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty– </em>“I’d like to stay in Venus.” Haruya says out of nowhere, somewhat hopeful and excited “It’s my calling.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji almost clicks his tongue. <em> I lost count </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you know how dumb you sound?” Fuusuke then quips before Ryuuji can recollect thoughts. The white haired was thoroughly annoyed by the sudden break of silence, especially by the person he seems to dislike the most. He then relents, “But I’d like to stay in Neptune or whatever.” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s pretty dumb too.” Haruya.</p><p> </p><p>“Like you’re any better.” Fuusuke. </p><p> </p><p>“I think I like saturn.” Reina chirps up as Haruya and Fuusuke’s banter gets drowned out into the background “The rings are pretty.”</p><p> </p><p>Osamu says nothing. Ryuuji wonders if he’ll really say nothing at all. He does, but it’s a few seconds later after Ryuuji dismisses his thoughts, “Why are you guys thinking about going to places we won’t be able to reach?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because it’s fun.” Haruya muses “We don’t belong here anyway. We don’t know where we belong. So why not just choose where we want to be?”</p><p> </p><p>“Dumb.” Fuusuke doesn’t miss the chance to ridicule. Reina rolls her eyes as Osamu sighs in defeat at the endless fights the two tend to have. Ryuuji thinks a little bit harder. <em> Where do I wanna stay? </em></p><p> </p><p>“Jupiter.” Tatsuya decides to take this chaos as his turn to speak.</p><p> </p><p>For some reason, everyone stays quiet. Ryuuji is the only one who had the care (or guts) to ask why. Tatsuya just stares at the sky, “because it’s the biggest.” </p><p> </p><p>Haruya lets out a snort. Reina lets out a sound that’s almost like a squeak of surprise. Osamu hums. Fuusuke snorts, “Now, that’s the dumbest of it all.” </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji turns his head towards the boy beside him in response. His teal eyes are open and the night sky reflects on them like glass. The starry eyed boy’s voice drops into something a little bit softer. Ryuuji hopes he’s the only one who can hear him. “It has the most moons too.” </p><p> </p><p>“It has the most moons, huh?” Ryuuji doesn’t realize that thought slipped through his lips. He looks back up towards the sky.</p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya smiles (or it feels like he does). Ryuuji can’t see him, but the thought of it makes everything feel somewhat better. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, it makes things a little less lonelier.” </p><p>
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</p><p>At some point through all this, Tatsuya teaches Ryuuji how to kick the ball through the straight concrete path that leads them from the backyard garden and into the indoor terrace without falling out of pace. Ryuuji learns how to score a point. Tatsuya learns how to unwind his shoulders a bit. Ryuuji counts the stars with his two eyes. Tatsuya gives him extra help and counts with him.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji is starting to think that this might be the exact place he wants to stay in — staying on an orbiting moon than staying on a singular planet<em> . </em></p><p> </p><p>“There’s too many stars every night.” Tatsuya breathes out in defeat one night when he gives up. “They also change all the time. We can’t keep track of all of it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, there’s this saying that some things never change.” Ryuuji hums as he looks away from Tatsuya in favor of the sky. “I like to believe in that.” </p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya scrunches his nose up in some kind of protest, but leaves the conversation at that to talk about the soccer tournament he’s been waiting to watch on tv later this week. The sound of his voice gets drowned out in the background. </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji is left to think again. He would like to believe in how some things never change, or at least, he’d like to believe in <em> anything </em> for once. Who knows if the same star he saw yesterday would be the same one for tomorrow, and if it was different, would that matter? He then believes that <em> some </em> will hopefully (or <em> surely </em>) come in the form of Tatsuya. </p><p> </p><p>And at some point through all this, Midorikawa Ryuuji thinks he’s finally found out who the boy with teal eyes rivalling starry eyes and an innocent smile is. </p><p> </p><p>And at some point through all this, Kiyama Tatsuya earns the name of ‘Hiroto’ to keep close to his heart. </p><p>
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</p><p>Just like that hours turn into weeks turn into months then into years. Ryuuji doesn’t count them all. They take too much work, so he lets himself be whisked away by the concept of time through the position of the sun in the sky. </p><p> </p><p>By thirteen, the sun is hidden between the clouds when things get a little bit too rough, and by rough he means, <em> that’s my way of trying to convince myself that things are still gonna be okay, hopefully </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Father, or whoever they all deemed that man to be, becomes a stranger. He doesn’t know when it happens, but he knows no ray of sunlight is hitting the window right now.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone is skeptical at first, but distant chides and familiar warnings of voices approach his mind telling him, <em> reminding </em> him that, <em> it’s father. We have to listen to him. </em></p><p> </p><p>Through it all, through the mayhem and through the obscure explanation of whatever could be happening tomorrow, Ryuuji tries to catch Tatsuya’s — well, it’s <em> Hiroto </em> now — gaze through the turmoil. Maybe he knew something, maybe he could say something against this. Hiroto always had the upper hand when it came to father. There was this connection that wasn’t easily definable. Haruya said it was favoritism. Reina said it was something deeper that they couldn’t <em> possibly </em> understand. Ryuuji just thought it was Hiroto and his teal eyes rivalling naive trust towards the unknown. </p><p> </p><p>If Hiroto had so much faith in this man, then he should too. In theory, this same man who was currently asking them to fulfil some unlawful revolution is also the same man who gave them a home to stay in. He might not be the same man of yesterday, but yesterday might still exist in what was of today. </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji relapses through his thoughts, unable to make anything clear of the moment. Everyone seemed to be on the same page of confusion as him, but Hiroto stayed firm, understanding. He stayed unmoving, in front of the man who was feeling more distant the more the hours passed by. And if Hiroto trusted <em> that </em>, then he should too. </p><p> </p><p>(<em> Maybe </em> he should too. Things must feel less alone that way.) </p><p> </p><p>Understanding things turns into doing things, and it turns into being handed some tight fitted uniform that certainly kept it’s title of whatever alien jazz they’ll be spewing out soon. Ryuuji finds himself rehearsing lines, meaningless words that shouldn’t mean anything but then leads him to wonder what these words will cost in the long run. He’s later given a soccer ball, a glittery stone that looks like it was picked from the night sky, a will and a message. <em> A lie folded underneath it all </em>, but there’s so much of everything that covers it up perfectly that Ryuuji is almost convinced that what they were doing is the truth. </p><p> </p><p>That they were <em> actually </em> aliens raised from the other side of the sky, but a nagging voice inside him tries to remind him to keep his feet on the ground. And everyday that voice gets weaker. Ryuuji stops listening to it.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, he trains day and night — physically and mentally but it slips past his mind to give a little attention to his emotional state. He’s given the name ‘Reize’, and that’s when emotions get locked away in the dustiest part of the shelf. </p><p> </p><p><em> Reize </em> didn’t need emotions, or so he was told — and to which he only listened to. <em> Reize </em> yearned power and looked down on the weak. He didn’t need to feel anything to <em> be </em> alive. <em> Reize </em> wasn’t from here. He was born from the stars. Although <em> Reize </em>wasn’t Midorikawa Ryuuji, and at the same time, it also wasn’t some kind of change to who he was either. Perhaps it’s an evolution, or an addition to who he was. </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji doesn’t really remember when he crossed the line of pretending to be it to actually becoming it. </p><p> </p><p>He only remembered depthly learning who Reize is when the sun peeks out of the clouds again. He becomes it when he looks down at the broken goalpost as the victors (Raidon? Raimon? <em> Who cares </em>.) of the recent soccer tournament looked up to them with emotions he can’t seem to care about. He speaks words perfectly rehearsed on his tongue that he didn’t even bother consciously thinking about them because they lacked any meaning to it. </p><p> </p><p>(But he sees the way the team cowers in fear at his words. He sees the uncertainty in their eyes, pain in some of them. <em> Was it really me who caused this? </em>) </p><p> </p><p>But before he knew it, Gemini Storm lost against Raimon in an ungraceful match. Reize learns the name of their captain Endou Mamoru as he says words he thinks the latter didn’t even rehearse before. Spoken from the heart, spoken from passion, spoken from a true man who didn’t hide behind lies and gimmicks. </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji learns then that words can actually have meaning, and when they do, they hurt more than what he’s used to.</p><p> </p><p>(He cowers under them. In fear. In uncertainty. In pain.)</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t process things before he’s sent away. He gets one last glance of the sky before it all turns black. It takes him moments before he realizes he’s back where he started. Empty, cold, dark. He doesn’t know where he’s going to go next. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” A voice pangs through the darkness. Ryuuji realizes that he was closing his eyes. He opens them, and it’s an unfamiliar room but with someone he knows. </p><p> </p><p><em> Tatsuy–! Hiro–? </em> “Uh,” Ryuuji (or Reize, or <em> whatever </em> it should be now) says, but he loses the initial power he had in his voice when the word comes out “ <em> Gran </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>The other’s face is blank, “You lost.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” There’s a headache coming. It arrives a little later than he wanted it to. “I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s all you have to say?” <em> When did it get so cold </em> ? Ryuuji thinks between the aching of his mind and body. He feels like he’s freezing, like he got kicked out of the spacecraft with no suit on. Between it all, he then wonders when was the last time he actually <em> spoke </em>to Hiroto without it being quick updates about how his team was doing or greetings met at hallways of their facilities. </p><p> </p><p>When did he fall out of orbit with him? </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji loses his chance to answer. <em> Gran </em> sighs but it’s empty, “Unfortunately, things like these aren’t really tolerated towards father’s standards. You should know what comes next when in terms with what you’ve done.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji breathes in, gives no thought in an effort to try and answer back to this boy. It’s useless, or better yet, dumb. Or maybe what really is the dumbest of all is wanting to stay on an orbiting moon than stay on a singular planet. Things were a little less lonelier that way, but now things are more painful <em> this </em> way. </p><p> </p><p>With the lack of response, Ryuuji barely hears the soft sigh leaving Hiroto’s lips. “All will be taken care of by tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>He leaves, leaving Ryuuji alone. His teal eyes rivalling a cold winter's day. </p><p> </p><p><em> Tomorrow. </em>He doesn’t want to find out what will happen tomorrow. </p><p>
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</p><p>He doesn’t see the end of it. He doesn’t see the way Raimon changes Hiroto’s mind. He wasn’t there when the stars seemed to align again. He wasn’t there to help him back on his feet when the fight was all over. He didn’t hear the apologies of their father before he was taken away for what he had done. He didn’t know what happened.</p><p> </p><p>But he did reap the consequences of it. It was in the aching of his body from the overuse of meteorite’s power. It was the way he lost track of the position of the sun when he was locked away for the most of it. It was the flashing lights and the interrogations of questions over questions as they tried to figure out what really went down behind closed doors. </p><p> </p><p>It was his lack of words, his lack of knowledge, his lack of movement, and the fear paved in his chest as everyday passed. He didn’t know what to say, but he knew had to say <em> something </em> . When he thought he said enough, they kept asking more. What else did they want to know? Did they <em> have </em> to know anything else? </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes Ryuuji still feels like he’s made from the stars. He feels estranged thinking that he lived his whole life with his feet on the earth’s ground. Maybe because he really is it. It’s not a change, not an evolution, not an addition. </p><p> </p><p>It was just him. Midorikawa Ryuuji, lost in orbit. </p><p> </p><p>Earth had a saying that everything is going to be alright, maybe not today but eventually. He’s been told that by nameless faces for the past few days. (Weeks? Minutes?) </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji doesn’t want to believe in all that anymore. </p><p>
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</p><p>He meets Hiroto again in the spring of the same year. They speak like nothing happened. They play against the world like they weren’t against it a few moments ago. Ryuuji gets injured during the tournament as if he wasn’t some extraterrestrial creature yesterday. Hiroto promises to win him the trophy as if he wasn’t the branded leader of their entire revolution. </p><p> </p><p>They meet again when it’s all over. This time he sees the end of things, like the way Hiroto arrives home with the trophy perched proudly on the kitchen table and Ryuuji running straight into his arms, as if the two of them weren’t strangers in the previous point of time.</p><p>
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</p><p>Eighteen, and Ryuuji stops playing soccer at highschool. None of them do really, even Hiroto. The love for the sport doesn’t fade, but the ability to keep up with it does. Ryuuji’s starting to wonder if this is the curse the universe has decided to give him in return for the whole meteorite thing. His body feels a little too fragile to continue on with clubs and tournaments. He usually finds himself just kicking the ball within the confines of the straight concrete path that connects the backyard garden to the indoor terrace. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t a loss, really. Playing soccer now becomes a silent memory of his to look back to when suddenly remembering middle school. He wasn’t quite sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing, but then again, middle school was both good and bad. </p><p> </p><p>He’s learning to grow out of it — very slowly. He’s trying to find out how he could step out of his childhood fantasy without falling out of pace. A fantasy filled with homes in the stars, or the twisted reality of an unlawful revolution. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes he misses things like that. The fantasy of it all. The naive trust, the act of feeling so small in a huge galaxy, having starry eyes or an innocent smile. Cold winters and the sun peeking through the clouds. If he had been a little bit more confident, he’ll say he misses being an alien. Never pretending or learning to act like one — but actually <em> being </em> one. </p><p> </p><p>Because, he really <em>has</em> been an alien once. It’s that one thing he can’t really get rid of, but it’s also something he can’t say out loud without anyone questioning him or not believing him. He feels like he’s lived as one enough to have the right to declare it. Homesick, yearning, confused, and <em>alone</em>… </p><p> </p><p><em>…or</em> <em>perhaps</em>, <em>meaningless</em>. Ryuuji thinks of this as he walks down the hallways of his highschool. Haruya was with him just a second ago, but ditched him after realizing that math was the next subject. </p><p> </p><p><em> What do </em> we <em> need math for?! </em> Ryuuji is used to his complaining that he could hear it in his head. <em> It’s just humans’ way of trying to make things look smart. It shouldn’t have to make sense to us. </em></p><p> </p><p>“He says it like we aren’t human ourselves.” Ryuuji muses to himself then loses his state of mind when someone bumps into him. It’s a young kid. Maybe a freshman. He doesn’t really keep track of students now that he’s a senior and ready to get out of here. </p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t process it immediately, because his mind is stuck between Haruya and the fact he’ll be late for class in a few seconds. He apologizes immediately, not wanting to make a scene and also because he feels really bad about knocking over the kid’s books like that.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re <em> sorry </em>?” The kid asks, almost incredulously. Ryuuji doesn’t understand this reaction. Isn’t that what humans do? Apologize if they’re wrong, or if they hurt someone? </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I am.” He solemnly replies. His math teacher isn’t that strict anyway, besides, he was a favored student since he was really smart and had all his shit in check. He kneels down in front of the kid. “Are you hurt?” </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t touch me!” And here comes what Ryuuji didn’t want the most. A scene. “Y-you’re… you’re that monster who wrecked my brother’s soccer club back when he was in middle school. Do you even know what you’ve done to him? What you’ve done to us? You can’t say you’re sorry! It doesn’t work that way.” </p><p> </p><p>Monster? Ryuuji has been called a lot in his life, but never that. It hurts. “...um,” </p><p> </p><p>There’s a group of students forming around them. Ryuuji doesn’t like the look in their eyes. He turns back to the kid in front of him. “Look, we can talk about this some other place. Let’s get you to the clinic first though if you’re hurt.” </p><p> </p><p>“No! I don't want to talk about this with you.” The kid stands up. Ryuuji watches him as he does and how the kid half his size looks down on him. “You ruined everything.” </p><p> </p><p>It scares him for a moment. The words burn into his mind and give him new kinds of meanings. <em> Was it really me who caused this? </em></p><p> </p><p>Every second lies in wait for Ryuuji to speak. Was it really him? <em> Was it– </em>“And why should that matter to me?” </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji stares at him, a tone familiar to one of a few years ago. He swore never to look back at it again, to never <em> try </em> it again. Because all it did was bring pain back to his system, followed by years of trying to cope, to trying to fix it and to grow out of it. To try and forget but never, <em> never </em>forgive. </p><p> </p><p>But sometimes, <em> sometimes </em>he misses things like that. </p><p> </p><p>There’s fear in the way the kid doesn’t respond. Ryuuji thinks he has a talent for picking that out of people. So instead of a further escalation, the kid walks away, and so does the crowd. Whispers follow them as they leave. Ryuuji waits until they go away. He doesn’t go to his math class. </p><p> </p><p>No one hears from him for the whole day. The phone he received as a gift for his sixteenth birthday (and he’s been treating that gadget like it was heaven sent) was bursting with messages and calls. Reina asks if he at least knows his way back to the house and isn’t lost. Fuusuke says that it’s getting cold and that he should really be considering home. Osamu says that food is waiting for him. Haruya wonders why Ryuuji didn’t just join him in ditching math class. </p><p> </p><p>“Midorikawa.” In a sense, Ryuuji doesn’t really know where he is. So how did Hiroto find him? “It’s really getting late, and cold, and your food has gotten cold too. Everyone is waiting for you to come home.”</p><p> </p><p>Hiroto seems to worry about every little thing. “You could’ve at least left a message so we know you’re alright.”</p><p> </p><p>“How did you find me?” He asks, not really looking up at all but keeping his eyes on the ground.</p><p> </p><p>Hiroto laughs, “How could I <em> not </em>find you?” </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji doesn’t answer after that. Maybe running away into the next town and sitting on a random park bench wasn’t enough to keep Hiroto away. He feels the other sit beside him. “You have your location on.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Ryuuji sighs, his breath turning into fog. It’s almost winter. He never realized. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Hiroto leans into the bench more as if it would make him more comfortable. “Reina was worried about how far you’ve gotten when we checked where you were. Then we all wondered how you even got there or if you’d even wanna come back anymore. We heard what happened.” </p><p> </p><p>“Apparently, I’m a monster now.” Ryuuji laughs out, bitterly. “I don’t know why I’m affected by it so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you’re human, and you feel a lot of things.” Hiroto says. “It’s only natural.”</p><p> </p><p>“And how could you still say that after all that we’ve done?” He finally looks away from the ground and towards Hiroto who was staring right back at him. “After what <em> he </em> made us do?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know father had his reasons–“ “and how could you still call him that after all that <em> he’s </em> done?!” Ryuuji almost shouts, but there’s no one really around except Hiroto to hear him. Is it really that late right now? “He wasn’t a <em> father </em> to us. Maybe we were a troupe of weaponry to him, <em> sure </em>, but every ounce of emotion I now have for that man is reduced to nothing.” </p><p> </p><p>“Midori–“ Hiroto tries but then gives up. Ryuuji stares at him. “Why do you even trust him so much, Tatsuya?” </p><p> </p><p>Hiroto tenses up, and maybe it’s because of the cold and not the sudden drop of his old name. Ryuuji doesn’t even know what he’s saying anymore, or if it’s just the heat of the moment that’s carrying him on. </p><p> </p><p>“He hurt us. And no matter how many years it’s gonna be since all that, I’ll still be carrying all this shit to my grave.” Ryuuji breathes out “A-and… he doesn’t even look at you like you’re his own son. You’re a replacement. We’re <em> all </em> replacements for him. Why don’t you get that? You saw what he did to me and Osamu the moment we lost. He doesn’t care about what happens to us. He just wants something he could call his own.”</p><p> </p><p>Hiroto frowns. Ryuuji shakes his head, “I don’t know what I was allowed to feel back then, or who I was, or what I was becoming. Soccer became this evil <em> thing </em>, and I don’t know why I allowed that, but you…” </p><p> </p><p>Hiroto moves closer to him, “Ryuuji, I’m sorry.” </p><p> </p><p>Those words ring in his mind for a moment. He’s saying sorry because what? Because Ryuuji’s hurt? Because Hiroto is wrong? Or because every single moment that has led up to now hasn’t been correct for the both of them, or <em> any </em>of them.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it could be all those things. Ryuuji regresses and feels his breaths soften, “I felt so alone, even though I spent that whole time trusting you. I had it in my piece of mind ever since you told me that everything will be sorted out by tomorrow. It didn’t. Nothing did. I didn’t know what you meant by that back then, but it was you, and I believed in it.” </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji’s phone lights up. It’s almost midnight. It’s cold. <em> Too cold </em>. “Maybe I was wrong in believing in you.” </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji stands up before the clock on his phone could officially state that it’s midnight. Hiroto looks at him. Teal eyes rivalling fear, uncertainty and pain.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Hiroto.” Ryuuji says “It’s time to go home.” </p><p> </p><p>Hiroto follows, three steps behind and out of pace. </p><p>
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</p><p>Just like that hours turn into weeks turn into months then into years. They continue to orbit around each other like nothing ever happened that one cold midnight.</p><p>
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</p><p>It was one year when the sun rose after months of staying hidden behind the snowy clouds, Kira Seijirou lost his breath in an empty room with the sunlight seeping through the window. They all find that out a little bit later, not that anyone cared enough to do so.</p><p> </p><p>No one says anything about it, but sounds of melancholy weeps for the man who once brought them a home. None of it was out of love. It was out of pity. It’s always out of pity when it comes to the man they once knew, and they never wanted to experience anything more with what was once known.</p><p> </p><p>They stopped everything old there, with him. They didn’t want to try.</p><p>
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</p><p>The next morning, it’s officially spring. Flowers bloom again in the garden and there’s a new rhythm of footsteps welcomed in the wooden floor of the orphanage. No smile and blank golden eyes, muttering the name Kariya Masaki with poison on every syllable, like he hated saying it.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone says everything in an attempt to make the boy feel like he’s home as if he didn’t lose everything he used to know the moment he stepped in here. None of it was out of pity. It was out of love. It’s always out of love because everyone was in his shoes before, and they didn’t want him to experience mistakes that were once known. </p><p> </p><p>They started something new here, with him. It was worth a try.</p><p>
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</p><p>It takes a few days before the decision of holding a funeral gets done. It was to satiate the media, and also to at least give the man a proper goodbye even though most of them were ready to forget and live on to their next part of life. </p><p> </p><p>Masaki stays confused by the sudden preparation and tugs on Hiroto’s shirt as he passes by. “What’s going on, Kiyama-san?”</p><p> </p><p>Hiroto merely smiles and pats his hair, “Nothing you ever need to worry about, Kariya-kun.” </p><p> </p><p>Masaki already knew he wouldn’t care about what was going on but still helped Osamu and Reina as they went out to pick flowers for the shrine. The backyard garden was huge, and he just realized it now — but then, he’s only been here for maybe a week or two. He regrets not adventuring this place a little bit further. </p><p> </p><p>Reina watches the way Masaki’s eyes wander around the garden. She smiles and elbows Osamu at his side. It makes the former goalkeeper jump in shock and drop the flowers he was holding for her. He looks at where she was pointing and smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“Kariya!” Osamu calls. The boy turns around immediately. “You can go and look around if you want. Me and Reina can handle this.”</p><p> </p><p>Masaki almost tries to argue, but the two adults fall into a small conversation which inevitably creates too much of a wall for him to bother. He instead nods to himself and walks around, walking along the straight cement path that works through the entire place. </p><p> </p><p>Colors of pink, blue and yellow flowers huddled together on the ever so green grass. It looks so clean, like no one stepped on it. The other orphans were helping the adults because they seemed to know what was going on. Masaki felt out of place and frankly, did not have enough knowledge to feel like he belongs here yet. </p><p> </p><p>The path halts to a curve. Masaki debates whether he should follow the turn or go forward where he sees a man with sharp black eyes rivalling olive green hair that sinks in with the peacefulness of the garden. He looked like he was about the same age as Hiroto and the others. Why hasn’t he seen him before?</p><p> </p><p>He gets off track, and almost feels guilty for stepping on the oh so green grass unaware that this is the same grass a younger generation used to play soccer in. He walks up towards the green haired fairy, (<em> Fairy? </em>He kinda looks like one. He looks like he belongs here.), who was sitting on one of the swings of the rusty playground he was on. He doesn’t seem to notice Masaki’s presence.</p><p> </p><p>“Why aren’t you helping everyone else with whatever is happening today?” Masaki asks, surprised at his boldness in wanting to speak. He was never one to speak first, or to speak at all because well, he doesn’t know if he could trust anyone after what happened two weeks ago. But there was something alluring about the fairy in green hair. </p><p> </p><p>The man in front of him looks up. Masaki feels embarrassed, “or are you new here like me and doesn’t know what’s going on?” </p><p> </p><p>“I know full well on what’s happening right now.” He answers, voice heavier and harsher than Masaki thought it was supposed to be. “I just don’t want to help out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Masaki slumps his shoulders down. <em> Great </em> . Now what is he supposed to do? He’s embarrassed himself in front of the fairy and now he feels like he’ll be a sore loser if he runs away at this moment. And as a matter of fact, he <em> hates </em>losing. So, he decides to try and redeem himself by speaking again, “Um… so you’re from here?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm,” the other hums “I suppose you could say that.” </p><p> </p><p>Masaki nods slowly, racking up his brain to try and keep a conversation. He was never really good at speaking or being genuine about the things he said. He knew how to act nice, not <em> be </em>nice. At this point, he feels useless on not being able to say anything more.</p><p> </p><p>The fairy seems to lose interest and looks at a different corner of the garden. Masaki feels bad in the stomach, then pauses his trains of thoughts. <em> Since when did he care about other people </em>? </p><p> </p><p>He looks around with him for a moment, counting flowers then gazing at clouds then falling back at the man in front of him who’s sharp eyes seem more dull the more he thinks about it. It makes the feeling in Masaki’s stomach get heavier. </p><p> </p><p>He should say something, like <em> anything </em> . He breathes in. <em> Say something </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Y-you kinda look like a fairy.” Masaki chokes out in a sudden motion which makes him accidentally voice crack at the end of the sentence. The said fairy looks back at him with a hint of surprise and amusement in his eyes. His lips almost twitch into a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s new.” He answers in a soft laugh “I haven’t heard that one before.”</p><p> </p><p>“I-I… uh…” Maybe Masaki should’ve kept his mouth shut. He’s never felt this embarrassed and vulnerable in his life. There goes all his years of building a wall around his heart. All of it broken with the way the green haired laughs softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Midorikawa Ryuuji.” He says “and you are?”</p><p> </p><p>“Kariya Masaki.” He replies with a jitter in every syllable like he really loves saying it. </p><p> </p><p>“Masaki-kun.” Ryuuji says “Why don’t you sit on the swing beside me?” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Masaki nods but it takes a few seconds before he actually processes everything and does so. Ryuuji smiles at the kid. The boy gets settled but doesn’t swing and looks at the other expectantly. He smiles more at him making the boy a little bit flustered. </p><p> </p><p>Masaki looks away. Ryuuji does the same. The two fall into a nice silence. The sun high in the sky as spring wind blew through both of their hair. <em> It would be a nice time to play soccer </em>, Ryuuji thinks for a moment, then forgets the thought. </p><p> </p><p>Masaki was still silent. Ryuuji decides to speak. </p><p> </p><p>“Earth has a saying,” he muses as the kid swings his feet but not the seat itself “With such a father, there is such a child.” </p><p> </p><p>Masaki says nothing. Ryuuji continues, “I’ve been thinking about it all day, and it’s quite stupid of me to do so, especially as someone who never really had the presence of a father — or at least, a better one. But humans are kinda weird that way, you know?”</p><p> </p><p><em> A better one. </em>Masaki ponders, then looks to the sky. When his eyes trail to the older boy, he seems to be staring at the grass under his feet. </p><p> </p><p>“Why do you talk like that?” The kid asks, straight to the point.</p><p> </p><p>“Like what?” Ryuuji is genuinely confused as he faces him. </p><p> </p><p>There’s a conflicting look on Masaki’s face before he seemingly gives up and says, “Like you’re not human.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Ryuuji seems to realize something. He smiles sheepishly, “Poor habit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, uh, Midorikawa-san?” Masaki then adds, and Ryuuji can appreciate the effort the other was giving in trying to keep up the conversation. “When you told me that you haven’t been called a fairy before… what did you mean?” </p><p> </p><p>“Curiosity can kill the cat, Masaki-kun.” Ryuuji teases playfully, making the other roll his eyes in another futile attempt to hide his endless embarrassment. “But would you believe it if I told you that I used to be alien?”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Masaki answers immediately “You don’t look like one.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I don’t look like a monster either, now do I?” Ryuuji hums, wondering why that moment of his life still stays on the broadest part of his mind. “It doesn’t mean I don’t look like it means I’m not it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you think you’re one?” Masaki asks “An alien, I mean. Or a monster.” </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji actually takes that into consideration. He might not be the same man of yesterday, but yesterday might still exist in what was of today. He shrugs, “I used to be one, and that part of me stays in me.” </p><p> </p><p>“What are you now?” Masaki continues to ask and ask. In some kind of sense, Ryuuji didn’t know what to say to him, but he knew had to say <em> something </em> . When he thought he said enough, the kid kept asking more. What else did he want to know? Did he <em> have </em> to know anything else? </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji decides to stop thinking this time. He wants to tell this kid everything. </p><p> </p><p>“A human, I guess.” Ryuuji answers “A normal human being, but with who I was before, I don’t know if I have any right to humanity. It doesn’t feel real. Being human doesn’t feel real to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Masaki doesn’t answer. Ryuuji wonders why this kid is even listening to him at this point. Aliens? Humanity? He feels like he sounds like some crazy person and he’s sure Masaki is old enough to be able to understand most things of this world. </p><p> </p><p>“Humanity only feels real when other people look more like a monster than you are.” Maybe Masaki is just as crazy as him. “I mean, we’re all messed up in our ways, right? Making our mistakes and doing things we shouldn’t do.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji watches as the sunlight reflects through the boy’s muted gold eyes. “We leave people, let people leave us. We feel alone and lose a little or lose a lot.”</p><p> </p><p>“We blame and take the blame, and there’s nothing more disappointing than realizing how wrong you are in the long run.” Masaki says this so casually, like the two of them were old colleagues catching up over a cup of coffee. “We all do bad things, but most people only feel like the good ones when they realize other people are worse than them.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji stays silent. Masaki is embarrassed for the nth time this afternoon, “Or something? Or whatever! I don’t know what I’m saying…” </p><p> </p><p>Masaki looks away in an attempt to hide his face. Ryuuji fails to hold in a snort then inevitably breaks into a fit of laughter. It was loud, echoing through the whole garden to the point where the other people in the estate with them could probably hear him. It echoes through the garden making Osamu and Reina exchange a surprised yet satisfied look. It echoes through the window and seeps into the room where Haruya and Fuusuke stop their argument to listen to it. It echoes through the empty room where the shrine laid, where Hiroto’s slumped shoulders relax and where his lips smile up at the sound.</p><p> </p><p>Masaki turns slowly to the older who’s laughter bubbles more and more every minute.</p><p> </p><p><em> He doesn’t look like a monster </em> , Masaki thinks, <em> or an alien at that matter </em>. But he laughs along with him at a point he can’t really recall.</p><p> </p><p>“Humans are really weird, aren’t they?” Ryuuji says in between laughter. </p><p> </p><p>Masaki feels the weight in his stomach get lighter, “Yeah, they are.”</p><p>
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</p><p>There comes a day in a week he can’t remember where Ryuuji gets cornered by Haruya in the orphanage. The other adults were busy helping Hitomiko with the other kids when he found himself being glared at by the red haired devil. </p><p> </p><p>“Midorikawa,” Haruya crosses his arms in an attempt to look strict. “Why did you tell the new kid that we were aliens? He actually believes that we were and he won’t stop <em> bullying </em> me about it! Do you know how shitty it feels to be an adult and letting yourself be bullied by some eleven year old?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Ryuuji laughs, pretending to be confused by Haruya’s claims knowing that it would piss the other off “Are we not?” </p><p>
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</p><p>Ryuuji never gets to finish college when he’s deemed as the assistant for the Kira Company’s CEO Kiyama Tatsuya. It’s Tatsuya now that <em> he’s </em> gone. Ryuuji doesn’t understand why due to the fact that if Tatsuya should be changing <em> anything </em> about his name then it should be his last name, as he <em> is </em> the president of the <em> Kira </em>Company. </p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t finish college out of his own choice, even though Tatsuya pressures him to do so and that he doesn’t want to be a hindrance to his education — but Ryuuji counters with, “Why do I have to continue my education when I know I’ll being doing this with you for the rest of my life?”</p><p> </p><p>He earned a flustered Tatsuya because of that comment, and he still doesn’t understand why to this day. He told Masaki about it when he visited the orphanage but all the boy did was sigh. </p><p> </p><p>With a new life before him — a life where Ryuuji spends his mornings making sure Tatsuya’s necktie is on properly, a life where he visits the orphanage on a weekly basis to have small catch up chats with a certain kid he’s starting to adore, and a life where humanity feels a little clearer in his mind — he couldn’t help but feel a little bit out of place. Something wasn’t right. He knew so. But he couldn’t place a finger on what it is. </p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya feels a little more like earth than jupiter now. The young CEO kept himself busy with paperworks and plans as he tried to shape a new future for the company into one that could help other people. They had closed the company for a while after the death of the previous owner to focus on fixing it back up again. They wanted to fix morals, objectives, and all the things left behind by the monster that created them. </p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya always believed in the power of helping people. Maybe that’s why he trusted so easily and trusted the worst while he was at it too. </p><p> </p><p>As for himself, Ryuuji is still orbiting around every then and so. He’s more responsible than his boss could ever be despite him being merely an assistant — and everyone could defend him on that. He spends days rechecking papers and emails while keeping Tatsuya company. He spends nights placing a blanket over the red haired boy who fell asleep on his desk after overworking a lot. He spends a few midnights out with old friends to get drunk and feel young. He spends moments trying to pick up shards once dropped and spends the next moments trying to piece them together again.</p><p> </p><p>He picks up Tatsuya when he broke down that one night after feeling like he wasn’t enough for the company. He picks up Masaki from endless pits of swarming thoughts when he can’t seem to feel at home in the orphanage or at his own school. He picks himself up when no one is around to do so — because no one seems to know him more than himself… </p><p> </p><p>…or so he thought. Because Tatsuya and Masaki start helping him pick up pieces when his hands get too full. Something was right about this. He knew so. But he couldn’t place a finger on what it is. </p><p> </p><p>The three fall into a perfect pace through all that. </p><p>
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</p><p>The company’s reopening was tonight and of course, they all wanted to celebrate it. To say Ryuuji was relaxed was a complete lie. Well, their hard work didn’t go to waste but if he’s learned anything, it’s that nothing would always play by the book. He finds himself holding a glass of champagne as he walks around the venue they rented for the occasion. They didn’t invite too many people afraid of luring in the media but they did what they could. </p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji spots old friends and new ones he made along the way. They congratulate him and everything <em> almost </em> feels alright. Masaki invites a few of his friends. Ryuuji spots a boy in pink pigtails that he’s been talking a lot about recently. He smiles to himself and decides to take a break from the crowd in favor of going outside on the lone terrace to sit down on it’s patio. </p><p> </p><p>The moon was set up high in the sky, but Ryuuji knew it wasn’t too deep in the night to call it a day already. Everyone was crowded inside the venue, treating this celebration as a small get together while they were at it. Although, Ryuuji feels like he’s gotten too much of the talking. He wants to stay here, under the sky and stars. </p><p> </p><p>But he still feels like something was off pace.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s our party and you’re out here?” Tatsuya walks out towards him, because of course he does. “A lot of people are finding you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let them be.” Ryuuji laughs at the sky. “I’ve seen enough.” </p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya hums and sits next to him, a small space between them. He sighs, “A company, huh? I always thought I’d be playing soccer forever.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji chuckles, “We’re not Endou, nor are we physically capable enough for it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t hurt to dream, Ryuuji.” Tatsuya rolls his eyes but the smile stays on his face. </p><p> </p><p>“We’ve been through enough to know that’s really not true.” He breathes out before breathing back in. “But it’s not like we can take everything back, huh?” </p><p> </p><p>“No, not really.” Tatsuya sighs, pausing for a moment before speaking again “I should’ve stopped him back then when I had the chance. If I realized sooner how bad everything was getting, how bad it was to you, to everyone else. I should’ve but…” </p><p> </p><p>“Ryuuji.” Tatsuya calls out sternly, completely dismissing his previous thoughts. “I’m sorry for leaving you alone that day.” </p><p> </p><p>“That day?” He turns to him finally, but the other isn’t looking back at him.</p><p> </p><p>“That day when you lost to Raimon.” He confesses “Fath–uh, well, <em> he </em> didn’t let any of us talk to you or any other teams because we were the <em> strongest </em> and he always told us that strong people shouldn’t speak to the weak.”</p><p> </p><p>“So when I heard you lost, I persuaded him to let me see you one more time.” He explains “He didn’t make things clear about where you’d go or what would happen to you and I got scared so I tried to find a way to get to you before you’d leave.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then what’s with the shitty attitude back then?” Ryuuji raises an eyebrow, tone teasing but the both of them know what he really wanted to know.</p><p> </p><p>“He was listening from the other side of the door.” He says, head hung low because Tatsuya was a coward that way. “He only let me see you if he’ll accompany me and hear the conversation. And back then, I’d do anything to see you so I agreed.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Ryuuji lets out the sound almost below a whisper. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Tatsuya laughs, a little sadly “I should’ve done more for you, plead for a second chance or hide you away. Anything to keep you. But, I guess I was pretty weak back then to do anything more than listen to <em> him </em>. I didn’t deserve to speak to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s alright…” Ryuuji mumbles thoughtfully “You wouldn’t be able to stop him either way. We were just kids back then. Kids with no place to stay in and who were easy to manipulate because we finally found something in the orphanage that we didn’t want to lose for the second time. We couldn’t do much back then but listen and fulfill.”</p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya turns to him. Teal eyes rivalling Ryuuji’s black ones. “There wasn’t anything we could’ve possibly done, Tatsuya.” </p><p> </p><p>“What are we supposed to do now?” He asks as if Ryuuji would know the answer — because in all honesty, maybe he did. Because Ryuuji was someone Tatsuya believed in enough to trust in. Not naively, but with a whole heart and full mind. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s all your choice, Mr. CEO.” Ryuuji grins. </p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya shakes his head, “Don’t call me that. It’s weird to hear it from you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then Boss?” Ryuuji suggests “Mr. Kiyama? Ugh, that sounds too formal.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tatsuya.” He replies “I like hearing you say Tatsuya. That’s why I kept it anyway.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yuck.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” He argues, and looks away to continue speaking. “Listen, we’ve known each other for our whole lives. Formalities isn’t something that’s me and you. And besides, we’ll be spending the rest of our lives still by each other’s sides. We have a company to run together, remember? Then we still have to be at <em> all </em>of Masaki’s graduations and help him get with that boy he likes. I can’t believe I have to be the one saying this to you–“</p><p> </p><p>“Tatsuya.” Ryuuji calls, an amused smile dancing on his lips at the way the boy stops mid-sentence to turn back at him. He’s rambling too much and it’s weird realizing that this was the same boy who didn’t spare a word for anyone else in his lone swing at the playground.</p><p> </p><p>He realizes the other is closer now, closer than before. There’s this funny feeling in Ryuuji’s body when this happens. Something humans call warm, and fuzzy. Something he isn’t sure if it’s the champagne or what he would call comfort. </p><p> </p><p>“Tatsuya.” Ryuuji repeats, leaning a bit closer. Tatsuya doesn’t move away. “I’m in love with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you mean that?” He asks because he’s admittedly scared, because it’s natural to be at the moment, because humans fear the uncertain, because pain keeps humans on edge, because orbiting closer seems scarier than drifting away, because <em>yeah</em> <em>I am</em> <em>in love with you</em> <em>too</em> <em>but I don’t want to lose you again</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean that.” Kiyama Tatsuya tastes like stardust. Midorikawa Ryuuji feels like he’s back in orbit. </p><p>
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</p><p>After the party, Masaki is trailing behind a smiley Ryuuji. “I see you and Tatsuya-san finally got their shit together.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryuuji pauses, not sure if he’s going to reprimand the younger for the bad word he’d just pulled out or the way he’s calling Tatsuya by his first name. “What are you…”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, you don’t really think you’re the only adult I trust in the orphanage, now do you?” Masaki raises an eyebrow. Ryuuji wonders when this kid went from cute and easily flustered newbie to the devil’s incarnate. (Maybe Haruya would know something about this.) </p><p> </p><p>“Masaki–“ “Anyway, congrats or <em> whatever </em> .” He waves the older off as if he <em> isn’t </em> older. “I’m tired of hearing Tatsuya-san only talk about you when we hang out after he picks me up at school everyday. Maybe this time some things are changing.” </p><p> </p><p>Masaki walks away and into the car Haruya now drives around like a badge of honor he wears everyday. <em> Oh, </em>it’s totally that idiot’s fault. Maybe he should’ve listened to Fuusuke back then. </p><p> </p><p>Haruya rolls down the window and flips him off. Ryuuji wonders if extraterrestrial power to destroy worlds was still on the table.</p><p>
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</p><p>There was a saying about killing two birds with one stone. It took a few more years for Ryuuji to be able to understand that again — in a more, well, happier light. He starts to get a better grasp of it when he and Tatsuya use their relationship to not only strengthen the core of their company, but to also be Masaki’s legal guardians. </p><p> </p><p>After that, Ryuuji became a little more intrigued with the way words make life seem a lot brighter.</p><p> </p><p>Everything became more of something to feel than understand. In some corner of the house, Masaki makes a stupid comment. Tatsuya begs to differ. With the conversation getting too heated, Ryuuji cuts it off by saying he’s finished cooking dinner. It works as the two boys race to the dinner table as if it was gonna run away from them. </p><p> </p><p>“Where are we staying?” Masaki asks, absentmindedly as he tries to pick out the vegetables on his plate to place it on Tatsuya’s. Ryuuji knows the boy is talking about their holiday plans — especially since it was really their first holiday as a full family.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you thinking about, Ryuuji?” Tatsuya is just as absentminded to the conversation as Masaki, or maybe Ryuuji was thinking too much.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d like to stay here.” He answers, trying to match paces with the way the two seemed to be “Nothing special. Just here, with you guys. You know… home.”</p><p> </p><p>Masaki smiles at that. As much as the kid tended to be picky, the two adults knew he craved for even the little things like the mere help of Ryuuji towards his literature homework or Tatsuya picking him up at school — because those little things meant universes to him. </p><p> </p><p>Tatsuya, on the other hand, agrees on the spot because that meant they didn’t have to plan much and the comfort of their own home was better than most he’s seen in life — and he’s seen a lot.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good.” Tatsuya with teal eyes rivalling the sight of his family’s reflection through them. That earns a smile from Masaki who sends it to Ryuuji’s direction. The three of them fall into a perfect pace of a conversation — ranging from their days to what could happen tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>Midorikawa Ryuuji now believes in something. It’s them.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wanna recommend some songs that I listened to while writing this story!</p><p>Moonlight - Ariana Grande<br/>Be Wherever You Are - Steven Universe Soundtrack<br/>Somewhere Only We Know -  Keane<br/>Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery<br/>Pluto Projector - Rex Orange County</p></blockquote></div></div>
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